


The Familial Blooper Reel

by Masterweaver



Series: The RWBY Blooper Reels [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterweaver/pseuds/Masterweaver
Summary: Sometimes, it can be nice to have family in the place you're shooting scenes.And sometimes... it can be problematic.





	The Familial Blooper Reel

"Ladies and gentlemen," Yang proclaimed with a smile, "we have arrived in Argus."

"Argus!" Ruby gasped.

"Argus!" Weiss cried.

"Argus!" Blake exclaimed.

"It's only a model," Maria grumbled.

"Hush," Oscar admonished.

Qrow chuckled. "On second thought, let's not go to Argus. Tis a very silly place."

Yang rolled her eyes as the entire group burst into laughter. "Yeah, yeah, classic sketch. Come on, we need a serious take, guys, I've had my butt on this bike all day!"

* * *

Oscar looked down at his script. "So, in this scene, you glomp me."

"Yep!" said Nora brightly. "It'll be fun!"

"...can I get a stunt double?"

"Oh come on, I'm not  _that_  bad!"

Various hums of consideration came from around them.

"I'm not!" Nora protested. "Really, I'm not--" She looked around for any sign of support.

"We can't get you a stunt double right now," the director said, "but we can get you a bluemat and up your hazard pay."

"Alright, I can live with that."

Nora threw up her hands. "I AM NOT THAT BAD!"

* * *

"We should probably start looking for a ship," Blake mused, not catching the uncomfortable look Nora and Ren shared.

" _Start_  looking?" Yang laughed. "Okay, so we've got Whiterose, Ladybug, Enabler, Monochrome, Freezerburn, Bumblebee, Nora's Arc, Martial Arcs, Boop, Lancastor, Sugar Rush, Crimson Lotus, White Knight, Nordic Winter, White Lotus, Dark Knight, Thundercats, Ninjas of Love, Dragon Slayer, Pink Lemonade, Sunflowyr--"

Ruby sighed as Yang inhaled deeply. "No no," she said, holding a hand out to Maria, "let her get it out of her system."

"--Rose Garden, Snow Pines, Deadly Nightshade, Summer Sun Harvest, Compost King, Valhalla, Lotus Garden, Moonshine, Twin Reaper, White Russian, Nightcap, Phoenix, Jaundice, Hammered, Paper Cranes, and that's just with the people here who were in prior seasons taking two to a ship!" Yang finished with a grin.

"Cute," Blake said with a flat look. "Let me rephrase. We should probably start looking for a vessel capable of taking us across the sea."

"And stop looking at the stupid fan memes," Weiss added.

"But the stupid fan memes are the best part!" Yang whined, still grinning.

* * *

Adrian pulled himself up onto the couch Blake was sitting on, eyeing her curiously.

Blake glanced at him as he rose to his feet and wobbled across the cushions. "Uh... hey. What... what are you doing?"

"Hrglm," he explained, pointing at her.

Blake's ears flattened. "Yeeeeeah, I have no idea what that means..."

Adrian sat down heavily, eyes wide in amazement.

"...what?" Blake's ears perked up. "What are you looking at?"

Slowly, the child rose his hands to his head.

"...Oh." Blake rolled her eyes. "Yes, I have big ears on my head." She twitched them in demonstration.

Adrian twitched his own hands.

Blake quirked a brow, her ears swiveling forward.

Adrian bent his hands forward, tongue sticking out in concentration.

Blake crossed her arms. Her ears, pointedly, folded back.

"Hrrnmmm..." Adrian, after some thinking, managed to put his hands flat on his head.

A sly grin began to grow on Blake's face. "Hm." One ear rose up.

Adrian blinked. Slowly, he lifted one hand.

Blake let her other ear rise, facing sideways. Adrian, after some thought, cupped his other hand toward the table. A brief chuckle escaped Blake's lips.

"Okay, let's kick it up a notch."

She let an ear bend so it was perpendicular to her head--a bit of a strain, but possible. Adrian managed to bend his wrist to match.

Blake stretched her ears so that their tips touched--just barely. He found mimicking that to be easy.

Very slowly, Blake folded her ears back. Adrian was mimicking her action when suddenly they shot up to full height, and he squeaked as he brought his hands back up.

She began to rotate one ear back and forth so it was rowing through the air, while the other twitched side to side like a metronome. He stared in fascination, trying desperately to match her actions with his hands--

"Are you two having fun?"

Blake jumped, looking behind her at the smirking Yang. "Wh--! No. Well, maybe  _he_  is. I'm just, you know, he's here, it keeps him entertained--"

Yang glanced at Adrian, who had put his hands up straight when her ears perked up. "Yeah, I guess they're easily amused at that age."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Come on, you know I don't do kids."

"Mmmhmmm."

She folded her ears flat, completely ignorant of Adrian putting his hands against his head. "I don't! This is just a coincidence!"

"Mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmm."

Blake glanced back at Adrian, who still had his hands flat on his head. She unfolded her ears and sighed when he put his hands up. "Now look what you made me do, you made me look ridiculous in front of my costar."

"Mblrgl?"

"Look, just..." Blake reached out, paused halfway, and put her hands on the cushion. "Hands down. Okay? Hands down."

"Yeah, you're never going to be able to convince him to do that," Yang said casually. "You need to give him something else to focus on."

Blake turned to her. Her gaze dropped to her metal arm. She glanced up at Yang's face, eyes pleading.

Yang sighed. "Only for you. Hey kiddo!" She waved a golden hand. "Look at the flashy lights!"

Adrian's eyes went wide when he saw the indicator lights on Yang's arm flicker on and off.

* * *

"So, Saphron." Blake looked over at the woman curiously. "You're the only Arc living here?"

"Yep! Moved out the second I could. Jaune and I are the only two living away from home." Saphron smiled fondly, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "I guess he just wanted to be like his big sis."

Jaune rolled his eyes. "I, uh... hrrm..."

"Awww..." Saphron pinched his cheek. "~You didn't de-ny iiiiit!~"

Jaune pushed the hand away, which led to Saphron pushing back, which led to a little slapfight--that ended abruptly when she leaned back with a yelp.

"Oh geeze--" Jaune pulled his hands back, leaning forward. "I'm sorry, are you okay?!"

"Those are metal  _gauntlets_ , bro, soft slaps!  _Soft!"_

"I am so so sorry--"

"It's fine, it's..." Saphron groaned. "Ow. Okay, I'm going to have somebody look at this, I'll be back for the next take..."

* * *

"We should probably start looking for a ship," Blake mused, not catching the uncomfortable look Nora and Ren shared.

"So where have you guys been staying?" Oscar asked Jaune.

"Uh.... heh, um..."

" _There_  you are!" called a woman from across the street, waving to the group.

Yang turned around and gasped dramatically. "IT'S ME FROM THE FUTURE!"

Blake groaned. "Come on, take this seriously! I don't want to be stuck doing this scene the whole day!"

* * *

"And then, I dragged the Nevermore up the cliff so fast that when I got to the top..." Ruby spread her hands. "Its head flew clean off! Pop!"

Adrian gasped.

"I know! I was surprised too, but I hid it. I turned around with an epic pose."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "And then the director yelled at you for breaking an expensive piece of puppetry, and we had to swap out the Grimm hordes with the White Fang extras until the studio gave us a bigger budget for the season 2 finale."

"Oh come on, that is so not my fault! And they ended up using that take anyway!"

"I was looking forward to fighting the Petra Gigas. But who ends up fighting it? Team RNJR, that's who!"

"Hey, you got to take out that Lancer nest."

"I got to stand in a half-set and point my sword out at a greenscreen."

"But we did have that traintop fight with the Manticores and the Chimera."

"Yeah," Weiss conceded, "that was pretty fun. But it's called a Sphinx."

"It was clearly a chimera!" Ruby protested. "With the tail and... whatever." She turned back to Adrian. "Anyway, so that's how we filmed the initiation scenes. Do you want to hear about how we shot the fight with the Paladin?"

Adrian nodded. "Rgmrl!"

* * *

"And you're sure it's alright if we stay with you?"

Saphron smiled at Weiss's question. "Of course! We're happy to house Huntsmen and Huntresses."

"You all risk so much to keep people like us safe," Terra affirmed. "It's the least we can do. Especially for an elite Huntsman like yourself." She gave Qrow a disapproving frown. "Although I will say I was surprised to learn you had students helping you. Is that even... legal?"

Ruby gave Qrow a look. When he didn't respond, she elbowed his arm.

"Uh, of course. Think of it as an extended training... thing. Trust me, I..." He paused. "...have totally forgotten my line here, so I'm just going to level with you, these kids are the stars of the show and I'm just a cocky old guy who they put up with to pay the bills."

"Yep," Ruby agreed to the snickers of the others, "he's dead weight, and we only keep him around to sign the legal adult stuff. That's why we're so glad we found Maria."

"They took one look at my resume and they had to have me," Maria proclaimed. "Of course it's still a probationary period, but I've already increased their effectiveness by seventy percent."

"The only, hee, problem we're having is accommodations," Yang added. "We, haha, we don't have her favorite flavor of nuts."

Maria sighed sadly. "Such good kids, they can't be blamed for the economy."

Terra nodded somberly. "Oh, I understand, I completely understand."

* * *

"We should probably start looking for a ship," Blake mused, not catching the uncomfortable look Nora and Ren shared.

"So where have you guys been staying?" Oscar asked Jaune.

"Uh.... heh, um..."

" _There_  you are!" called a woman from across the street, waving to the group.

Yang narrowed her eyes. "Is that...?"

Jaune cringed just a bit, but smiled and waved back. "Hey, Saph..."

Ruby gasped, pointing at the woman, then to Jaune, eyes darting back and forth.

Yang smirked. "Hello kiddos. Look at your sister. Now back to me. Now back to your sister, now back to me. Sadly your sister isn't me, but if she stopped using NPC-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice she could smell like me."

Weiss pinched her brow. Ruby groaned in exasperation. Nora started banging her head on a nearby lamppost.

"Look down, now back up, where are you?" Yang continued. "You're on a movie set with the sister your sister could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me, I have it. It's a cyborg arm with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now flowers! Anything is possible when your sister smells like Old Spice and not an NPC. I'm on a catgirl."

"Yes you are," Blake deadpanned, "and the catgirl is not happy to have to do this scene AGAIN."

Yang leaned down, holding out her hand. "Flowers?"

* * *

"Uh..." Nora glanced back. "Guys? The baby's, uh, playing with a boom mike here..."

"Oh no." Jaune knelt down in front of Adrian. "Hey, can you give that to me? That's not a toy, you know?"

Adrian looked up at him.  **"Grv?"**

He blinked, looking at the speakers across the room.

"Yeah, that's a microphone, it--"

Adrian held the microphone to his mouth.  **"Agrbo."**  He stared at it carefully.  **"Gra... bla gra."**

"...yes," Jaune said. "Now. Can you give me the boom mike? We don't want to break it."

**"Braga glrm narg arga nrv ragm."**

Jaune sighed. "Sis? A little--"

"I've got this." Ren knelt down. "Glrg mra grrmgaa?"

 **"Fay!"**  Adrian put the boom mike down and toddled off.

"...How?" Nora demanded.

"It's a tonal language," Ren explained.

"It's literally gibberish!"

"You just need to pay more attention."

* * *

"Shut up there's food!" Ruby proclaimed, taking some sandwhiches from the shared plate and handing them to the others on her couch. The others grabbed their own sandwiches, Ruby taking a couple more, and all of them began eating. Saphron and Terra smiled at each other fondly.

Then, loudly, a song began to play.  _"~The vengabus is coming, and everybody's jumping--~"_

Terra quickly pulled out her scroll and hit the receiver button. "Uh, hey mom! Oh, I'm fine, we're all fine, but, um, this is kind of a bad time. Yeah, sorry, you know how my brother-in-law is starring in that TV series? Well, we're cameoing, and filming right now, so... no, I get it, I get it. I'll call you back, okay? Okay. Love you too!"

She put the scroll away with an awkward smile. "Uh, are we going to have to redo the scene because of that?"

"Well," Ruby said, "probably. But that means we have to get more sandwiches, so it won't be for a while."

Weiss quirked a brow. "Vengabus?"

"Oh it used to be her favorite song," Saphron said gleefully.

"Honey--"

"She'd just get up and dance to it whenever it came on, like, hips everywhere, knees pumping--"

Terra put her face in her hands. "Oh my god."

"I'm telling you, it was a thing of beauty!" Saphron turned to her. "We've got to get you dancing again. Hey, script people! Can we write a scene with my wife dancing?"

"No!" Terra shook her head. "No, no dancing! I'm not dancing!"


End file.
